When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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