Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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