So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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