It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Randomize
