she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
