It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
