Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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