My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
