wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
