I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
