i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
