I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
