I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
