Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
