I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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