i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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