She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
