dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
