I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
