I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
