so that wasnt chicken after all
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
