Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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