My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
