do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
