If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
