Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
