margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
