well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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