I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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