At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
