they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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