I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
