debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My ATM looks so different sober.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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