Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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