That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
