if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
