dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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