Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
