Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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