Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
