Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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