that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
