Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
