Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
