Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
