Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
