is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
