doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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