Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
