he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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