Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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