I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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