Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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