I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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