My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
