Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
