Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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