Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
