I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
