Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
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