just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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