Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
There was a lot of him and a little penis
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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