So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
