Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
